You are your worse and best critic. The decisions you make will depend on your perception of yourself. The sources, interactions and relationships you build are based on how you see yourself. self-confidence is a prerequisite for taking massive action. If you don’t develop beliefs in yourself you will follow and depend on the beliefs about yourself based on others. It all starts with you! You could choose to be the spectator in the arena or the participant that everyone cheers for. Sylvester Stallone once said he would rather know he tried and failed then to live with the unknown of never trying.
- Be in the driver seat of your emotions. “if you let your emotions dictate your experience of life without pinpointing why you feel
a particular way, your emotions control you. Once you understand that your feelings are within your control, you’re well on your way to understanding how to be confident.” Confidence isn’t born it must be cultivated so that emotions are driven by a shift of a thought. For example you have the option to focus and meditate on things and circumstances that create feelings of sadness and anxiety or shift to positive thoughts that create joy producing confidence. “Building confidence creates the feeling of certainty that you can accomplish what you set out to do.” In essence it overrides when negative thoughts creep in by changing to the gear that reminds you of how amazing and confident you are. You may ask, “how do I do that?” Simple, keep reminding yourself of what you have accomplished and the God given potential you have. “But if you consistently feel gratitude, love and joy, you’re going to be living in an amazing, positive state in which nothing bothers you.” Just like turning the light switch on in the midst of darkness our thoughts can manually switch when we think on moments in life that make us grateful.
2. Don’t second guess your choices. During a family trip we had a small window to make it to our dinner reservation in Orlando. Traffic was so heavy that the minutes slowly expanded out of our range. Two options presented themselves: travel and pay 30 dollars of parking for a possible missed reservation or turn off early to new destination called Disney Springs and create a new journey. We chose the latter but during the process I found my daughter checking her google map. “Dad it’s says a four minute delay a couple of exits if we would have stayed driving towards Universal.” I kept driving to our new destination. Suddenly I heard from the back seat, “dad I didn’t want to pay thirty dollars for nothing.” Realizing she was stuck in a state of justification and self-doubt I did what any father would do, I kept quiet believing she would accept the new path. Yet the grapple continued as I heard, “Dad it’s ok I was checking the app on my phone and there was another delay on another part of the highway.” Finally I had to remind her, “princess we are at our new destination with stores and options for you far better than City Walk that you will enjoy.” “Why are you stuck on the highway congested with what if?” I continued to share, “this is the new path and journey. Remember to stay present and grateful for the moment. What if we were still stuck in traffic?” Self-doubt only keeps you in the highway backed up by negative thoughts that holds you hostage between two cars called what if and regret. Once you take a new exit in life learn to accept the new path because marinating on what if’s will only keep you absent from enjoying what is in front of you.
3. Learn to love you. “Negative emotions like self-doubt or anxiety are deeply rooted to the opinions we have of ourselves based on our life experiences.” Have you ever tried to force a lego piece where it doesn’t fit, or become frustrated with forcing a puzzle piece simply because it looks similar to the one you are looking for? There are pieces of your past that simply won’t fit with your new destination. Don’t force past hurts onto your new destiny. Stay away from what once was to what is now and look into the past only to enhance your present state. Learn to forgive your self and see the new you as God sees you. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17)
4. Develop a Daily System. Goals and dreams to better yourself can never be achieved without routine. Every time you turn your car on, you have an operating system that allows all the computerized parts of the car to communicate, starting with the ignition key. In order to drive your vehicle it will always have to start the same way. It Doesn’t matter where you place the key if it doesn’t reach the ignition, it will never start. Our lives will never move forward if we either don’t have the right key or the computer malfunctions. What keys or habits do you employ to make it through the life? What signals are missed between good intentions and desired outcomes? What routine do you employ to bring success during day? In other words routine is important to invest in, that is why bad routines or habits that we don’t change are dangerous. Think about it this way; the experience of life begins to wire the software of our thinking. If you feel you are crashing and burning and negative emotional signs are showing, then chances your system (routine) isn’t working. It’s important to get to the root of the problem and to diagnose your system or habits that are affecting your (diet, relationships, job, spiritual walk etc). People are creatures of habit, and routines offer a way to promote health and wellness through structure and organization. Having a routine can greatly improve your health. Your daily habits predict your success during a particular day. Change your system (habits) then you will create your desired outcome. Prepare a plan of what you want your daily outcome to be by creating a system that makes you successful. For example according to Propreacher.com you could use the REPS method he developed. 1- Read the Bible 10-15 minutes, 2- Exercise 10-15 minutes, 3- Pray 10-15 minutes and 4- Shower. The following also provides some suggestion to keep in mind about the importance of routine because many people who don’t have any type of routine suffer from the following:
- Stress. No routine often means having the constant worry of “when will I get it all done.”
- Poor sleep. Without a daily routine at work and/or home, you may find yourself playing catch-up with yesterday’s to-do list. If you’re always behind on what should have been done the day before, you’re likely also staying awake worrying about what didn’t.
- Poor eating. Unhealthy diets (like eating lots of fast food) become the norm if there isn’t time scheduled for grocery shopping. Quick, unhealthy substitutes become the next best food option.
- Poor physical condition. Working out usually requires some advance planning.
- Ineffective use of time. Often, no routine means you simply run out of time, leaving things undone and not making the most of your time.
Reflect and Fuel UP!
1. If you could rate yourself 1-10 and 10 being the best of how much you love yourself, what would you rate yourself?
2. What are past experience that either fortified your belief in yourself or created disbelief?
3. In what ways can your past experiences help you?
4. What routine will you create or continue to do help develop greater beliefs in yourself?
Resources:
Develop healthy routine: https://www.nm.org/healthbeat/healthy-tips/health-benefits-of-having-a-routine
How to Develop a belief in yourself https://www.tonyrobbins.com/building-confidence/how-to-believe-in-yourself/
Creative Healthy Routine: https://www.propreacher.com/jesus-inspired-morning-routine-changed-life/