Less than Perfect

Forgiveness starts with ourselves.

“When we refuse to give ourselves permission to be anything but perfect -as if failure did not bring its own lessons in life – we certainly are not able to forgive anyone else.” -Joan Chittister

To discuss: 

What lessons have you learned from failure, especially in your relationships?

To do:

Make a list of major grievances in your life.  Highlight all those that spring from your need to avoid failure and feel successful.

Your perspective determines your outlook.

Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit. – Napoleon Hill

• Reflect on times you have failed, particularly in relationships.  What can you take away that will allow you to grow?  You have a choice, you can either stay stuck or embrace there is a greater purpose.  Paul’s understanding that God’s grace is more than enough is a prime example of the right perspective.  Each day allow yourself to take your weakness as a compass that will lead you back to God’s power.  Don’t try to be perfect, however just be you.
• 2 Corinthians 12:9 – “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

Each fall is another opportunity to rise again.

• We can only fail if we stay down.  Each time you fall do it falling forward because it will ensure you are making progress.
• Proverbs 24:16 – “For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes.”

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There is a purpose behind every setback.

• You can only have a comeback if you have a setback. God is still working, even though you may not see it, God is still working.  Can you look back at a time you thought something was going to break you, but you made it through on the other side?
• Romans 8:28 – “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

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Here are three tools for this lesson on “Less than Perfect,” supported by references from the Bible:

1. Reflection and Discussion Tool: Personal Lessons from Failure

Activity:

• Have students or participants reflect on times they have failed, particularly in relationships.
• Use the following Bible verses to guide discussion:
  • 2 Corinthians 12:9 – “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
  • Proverbs 24:16 – “For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes.”
  • Romans 8:28 – “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Guiding Questions:

• How has failure shaped your character or relationships?
• Have you seen a situation where failure led to something better?

2. Writing Exercise: List of Grievances and Forgiveness

Activity:

• Have participants make a list of major grievances in their lives.
• Ask them to highlight those that stem from a fear of failure or a desire to appear successful.
• Introduce forgiveness with these scriptures:
  • Ephesians 4:31-32 – “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
  • Matthew 6:14-15 – “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Reflection:

• How does holding on to these grievances keep you trapped in perfectionism?
• How does forgiveness allow for growth and freedom from the fear of failure?

3. Group Activity: Embracing Imperfection in Faith

Activity:

• Divide participants into groups and assign each a biblical figure who experienced failure but was redeemed:
  • Peter (Luke 22:54-62) – Denied Jesus but became a great leader of the Church.
  • David (2 Samuel 11-12) – Committed serious sins but was called a man after God’s own heart.
  • Paul (Acts 9:1-19) – Persecuted Christians but became one of the greatest apostles.

Discussion Questions:

• How did failure lead to their transformation?
• What can we learn from them about handling our own failures?