During a trip Kayaking with my friend Jake Roche, we noticed a couple struggling to set their kayak in the water. As we pulled into the dock, Jake taught them how to position the Kayak on a contraption that looked like a tray or molding for kayaks. It allows you to hold the kayak in place, while placing yourself inside of it. As the gentleman and Jake repositioned the boat, unbeknownst to them the women left her cell phone on the edge of the kayak. Shifting in the water, like playing ping pong, the waves bounced the kayak back and forth causing her phone to slowly dip into the darkened murky water. She was horrified! “I can’t believe this just happened,” with a look of frustration. She went on to say, “I just paid the last installment on the phone.” The peace that Jake and I enjoyed quickly was erased as we now focused on recovery of her phone.
Imagine if you will, enjoying the view of the river and all the natural elements just to have a random act of a kind service backfire. Tragedy can strike without warning like a shifting pendulum, joy and peace sway into chaos and anxiety. “If only the iPhone came with a floating device, we would have avoided the chaos”, I thought to myself. Have you experienced either a situation that occurred that quickly hampered your joy or negative comments that brought your spirit down? In today’s lesson I want to explore the power of words and the impact on our thinking as we process them. We will also explore the difference between being reactive versus being responsive to outside stimulus’s that affect our thinking. I believe with turning the channel of our thoughts from negative back to positive the airways of our mind will only pick up and play pleasant and harmonious music. In other words, it’s important to filter out the negative noise either by words or actions of others or situations in order to maintain peace. Simply said, dive under water and create a barrier that words and actions of others can’t reach you.
In Psychology.com researchers found hearing words that describe pain — such as “excruciating” or “grueling” — activated the areas of the brain that process the corresponding sensation.
“These findings show that words alone are capable of activating our pain matrix,” says researcher Thomas Weiss, a professor at the Friedrich-Schiller-University Jena, in Germany, in a news release. Negative comments and phrases tend to adhere more than positive words or phrases. That is why it’s important that we watch what we say. For example, our experience on the dock sent visual and verbal cues that were negative regardless of how much we enjoyed cruising down the river. It was as if someone reached into our minds and switched channels. The visual and verbal expression of the women after her phone was submerged shot at us like a venomous viper. Her words though not directed at us, or her friend still caused discomfort. These phrases hit us like a sledgehammer: “I can’t believe this.” “How could I let this happen?” “It’s just my luck.” In the moment we became reactive rather than responsive. According to organize.nl, a blog dedicated to writing about how to problem solve in organizations; it states, “Both a reaction and a response are triggered because of an outside change, a change of the environment, both are secondary causes. The returning action of both reaction and response is quick or readily made.” The difference is that responding uses is intelligence as well as sympathetic actions, as compared to reactions that are automatic in nature without volition. In other words, we have positive thoughts ready to draw from like shooting darts at the target that result from being responsive rather than reactive which aimlessly shoots as we react without considering the cost. The power is in your choice. Another way of looking at it is whatever thoughts, positive or negative you bank that is what you will withdraw in times of crisis. “The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds” (2 Corinthians 10:4 NIV). Simply put living constantly in the spirit by meditating on God’s word prepares your mind for battle.
In this setting we wrestled between reaction and responsive. We quickly scanned to see if we could see the phone, but the water was too dark. It was like waving a wand and seeing it disappear. Her friend dove in repeatedly, felt around the bottom with his hands, and still nothing. We tried calling it but it went straight to voicemail. It’s in times of crisis when our true selves are revealed. Do you find yourself speaking death to negative situations that occur? When tragedy strikes do explicit words fire out as darts or negative comments burst like a dam. Well, my friend you might be reactive! Jake and I followed suit being reactive, as the balloon of joy and tranquility popped to frustration and anxiety. It felt like a wave that manhandles us, knocking our swimming trunks off and leaving us exposed. Jake and I held our heads low like two little boys who just dropped their favorite ice scream.
As we began to fasten the kayaks on the trailer, I felt the Holy Spirit challenging me that I was allowing the iPhone to dissipate my peace. In other words, we were ruled by a circumstance, and it was now time to overrule it. I felt like Clark Kent coming out of the phone-booth as I had enough of my own negative thoughts allowing the enemy to toy with my emotions. I began to own the principles of Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (NIV). Today let’s tighten up our trunks. It’s important that you think again about what you say because it has adverse effects for you and those all around you. Scripture teaches, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear (Ephesians 4:29 NIV). We seem to believe that speaking negative or venting in extreme manners can change the situation, yet it does the opposite. The word of God clearly instructs us to utilize words that builds us and others up for the sole purpose of providing grace to the listener. Our words are like a conductor of an orchestra which guide others to either play in harmony or be out of tune. To be responsive comes with preparation and when we take captive negative thoughts and meditate on thoughts that are positive there isn’t a wave that can knock us down.
When you understand the signs of reactivity, you can combat them. For example, questioning and probing as if someone were on trial is also a form of reactivity. Have you ever encountered someone that loved placing salt in a wound after you made a mistake? Judging and misdirected words never invoke healing. “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:36-37 NIV). It’s important that in the presence of negativity we learn to respond by redirecting the conversation to a positive light. A simple technique to utilize is to redirect with questions that provide positive thoughts. For example, I began to ask my friend Jake what did he enjoy about today? What were some blessings about our trip together? I stated I am blessed to know we are going home to two amazing wives, right? I could see Jakes spirit begin to lift. You have the power to paddle in a different direction. Don’t allow negative currents to pull you into the storm of regret and frustration. When you ask the right question to yourself, you will get the right response. Our thoughts can quickly shift from a negative thought to a positive by simply providing a question for yourself. For example: What do I have that brings me joy? What are the best qualities of my spouse or friend I am with? I encourage you to create at least four go to question and practice them every morning in the shower to have them ready for back up.
Another example of reactivity can be found In the Old Testament. We find 12 men representing each tribe of Israel to spy and bring back a positive report from the land of Canaan that they would conquer and become their new home. God gave the promise that the land would flow with milk and honey and the choice was upon them to deliver this truth back to the people. Two spies chose to be responsive while ten were reactive. Let’s do the math, 16 percent were responsive delivering a favorable report, and approximately 83 percent would be reactive which would cost them dearly as well as their families. Let’s call this the 1:4 ratio which I will illustrate like a seesaw. If negativity and positivity were weights, negativity will tend to dominate every time unless you get off and stop playing. You can’t wrestle with negative thoughts because they will always win. You can only choose to walk away and play with other similar positive, then you will enjoy your experience. Questions that redirect your thoughts to be positive is like a surfer catching a new wave to take him further.
Let’s explore the scene to illustrate what resulted as the people reacted to the spies approaching the camp. You will notice which dominates at the playground in Israel, negative or positive. The sun began to set in the background of the desert as the shadows of the men approached the people. Israel waited in anticipation as God’s promise would be reinforced, so they thought. Overwhelmed by what they heard; feelings of joy quickly moved to intimidation that would now grip them; as their spirits broke into mourning. Ten of the spies reported, “We went to the land where you sent us. It really is a land flowing with milk and honey. Here’s some of its fruit. But the people who live there are strong, and the cities have walls and are very large. We even saw the descendants of Anak there. The Amalekites live in the Negev. The Hittites, Jebusites, and Amorites live in the mountain region. And the Canaanites live along the coast of the Mediterranean Sea and all along the Jordan River” (Numbers 13: 27-29 NIV). Have you felt surrounded by all sides like being in a pontoon boat ready to be plundered in a sea of darkness. Here is my question, who is bringing you the report? Are you listening to reactive people or your negative inner voice? The trend of the 86 percent negatively follows today and has not changed which we find in the news, social media and negative messages that bombard us. The past reinforces that, just as quickly as the day began for the people filled with joy, the report arrived to the people that demoralized them. This was their nightly new, Attention 31 …“We can’t attack those people! They’re too strong for us! The land we explored is one that devours those who live there. All the people we saw there are very tall. 33 We saw Nephilim there. (The descendants of Anak are Nephilim.) We felt as small as grasshoppers, and that’s how we must have looked to them.” Now compare that message with today’s messages. Has anything really changed? What is the news you hear?
- Your problems are way to strong and overwhelming.
- I don’t have the resources to make it and I am afraid to move either job or location. I am stuck!
- Those around me are better and I am small as a grasshopper.
- Everyone must think of me in small ways.
Do any of these statements sound familiar? Is the report you filter positive or negative? Today please realize you have the power to change from the 86 percent negative report to the 16 percent responsive report. These are just examples of what God says about you:
- “Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life”. (Isaiah 43:4 ESV)
- “But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life”(Titus 3:4-7ESV).
- “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10ESV)
Today I want to reaffirm that you are loved, and God has amazing plans for you. Remind yourself by being in the 16 percent with questions that will redirect negative thoughts to positive.
In the Book of Numbers, we found men of valor who rose to be the 16 percent. They went against all odds because they knew in whom they believed and the promises that were given to them. Joshua and Caleb were responsive in nature as they refused to accept the negative reports. In verse 30, Caleb told the people to be quiet and listen to Moses. Caleb said, “Let’s go now and take possession of the land. We should be more than able to conquer it.” Today don’t receive the negative reports of, “you will never be healed! You will never amount to nothing! You will never be married! You will never be happy! Depression and anxiety will never leave! You will never escape your addiction! “Those are the “never” lies of reactive thinkers and need to be cast back into the abyss of the ocean where it belongs. Joshua and Calebs responsive thinking brought life to their tribe. Today fight through the noise of your mind and go against the enemy of darkness lies and fight for your tribe. Bring back the report to your people of who God’s says you early are and the problems you face are mere grasshoppers to God.
As we close out today, take hold of the report of the Lord of the great plans he has for you. Believe that there is so much in store for you and your breakthrough is so close. Grasp your victory and observe your problems are microscopic as compared to your blessings. Listen as Joshua, Moses and Caleb speak to the people in a responsive way to press on. Take hold of those words for you and declare them over your life. “Immediately, Moses and Aaron bowed with their faces touching the ground in front of the whole community of Israel assembled there. At the same time, two of those who had explored the land, Joshua (son of Nun) and Caleb (son of Jephunneh), tore their clothes in despair. They said to the whole community of Israel, “The land we explored is very good. If the Lord is pleased with us, he will bring us into this land and give it to us. This is a land flowing with milk and honey! Don’t rebel against the Lord, and don’t be afraid of the people of the land. We will devour them like bread. They have no protection, and the Lord is with us. So don’t be afraid of them” (Numbers 14: 5-9 NIV). It’s your time to rise from the wet sands and pounding surf to swim against all odds. Sixteen percent is favorable when God is on your side.
Today use the power of words to speak into your life. Become responsive as difficult situation can become grasshoppers in your midst by asking life building and gratitude type questions. Don’t allow reactive people or self-defeating statement keep you in the squelched burning sand. Play a new song in the campfire of life turning the channel of your thoughts from negative back to positive. Be the conductor you were meant to be by creating harmony for the world, and when all else fails submerge yourself under water and tune the world out! By the way do you remember the iPhone that was submerged under water? Right before we pulled off, the gentleman called us over and with great elation the iphone was found between the surface of the floor pinned to the kayak. The most amazing part of it all, is that the phone worked when they turned it on.
Dive Deep:
- What are some examples when you have been reactive?
- List three responsive statements you could give to a negative situations or to reactive people.
- Create 4 questions that you could ask yourself while taking a shower to prepare for the day.