Don’t Go it Alone!

Steps to help others cope in times of suffering

Suffering is never easy but it’s the heat that purifies the gold in us.  What we are made of can truly be reflected by how we handle suffering.  Suffering will do two things; either drive you to God or away from God.  1 Peter 5:10 provides insight regarding what is promised after suffering? Christ will personally restore, establish and support you in the glory promised by our Heavenly Father.  Jayden (Dre)  (Karate Kid)  during the scene identified with the pain of Mr. Han (his teacher).  For years Mr. Han would fix the car he tragically lost his wife and son in , then unleash the fury and pain he had endured.  Pain is something that sets concrete around our feet eventually consuming us, so it’s critical that we deal with it.  Failure to address the suffering will bleed into other areas of our life.   God doesn’t want us to relive the pain, but to cast our  burdens on Him. In 1 Peter 5:7 the Word of God states, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”  We as men are taught to go it alone...real men don’t to cry, but I am learning daily the opposite is true.

Layers to peal back and discover when suffering and regret arise:

1.  Find friends that will support you with a listening ear.  These types of friends will be void of judgement and self help, but be open to listen.   The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered.  Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues (Proverbs 17:27,28).  Just learn to be present.  Become an active listener and block out any distractions you might face.  Romans 12:15 teaches us to, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”

2. Take inventory and ask thoughtful question in order demonstrate your willingness to listen and go deeper (You are not problem solving).  Your are willing to become one in the pain.  David and Jonathan shared a deeper relationship that was impossible to break in the Bible.  Even though Jonathon’s father, King Saul eventually became jealous and wanted to kill David; Jonathon remained faithful.  “After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. ² From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return home to his family. ³ And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. ⁴ Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt (Samual 18:1-4).” All the protection Jonathon had received in royalty now became David’s.  Be willing to surround yourself with others that are willing unveil their true selves in order to identify with your pain.  

3. Jesus shared our pain.  Jesus became the prime example and illustrated this in Isaiah 53:4, “Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted.”  He exchanged our pain and was willing to bear it, so we might be righteous before our Heavenly Father (2 Corinthians 5:21).  The love that Jesus has for us is so great that He suffered so we may be comforted.

4. Go the distance.  Those who suffer don’t need a friend just for the moment but for the long hall.  Build time to actively engage and share life activities in order to shift the moment.   Proverbs 18:24 States, “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
    but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”  A true friend is earned over time and the relationship is tried and tested.