Breaking through rejection requires three biblical principles.
- Become the model of sacrifice. “Your actions are caught and not taught.” If you want to observe a change, become the change. God has implanted in you the seed to love with extreme fortitude. When you extremely live a life of love, the love that you seek will become reciprocated in unimaginable ways. God’s love truly is enough and to believe otherwise is misery.
When has there been a time that you gave your time, gifts, love, etc. to someone in a time of need? How did it make you feel?
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Greater love has no one than this, that a person will lay down his life for his friends.
(John 15:13, NASB)
Explain how extreme God’s love for us was.
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Why is this love at times so difficult to embrace?
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God’s love is amazing however, regret and living up to His love can create a barrier. If you can embrace His love for what it is and not for what you must do for it, you will finally find the breakthrough you have been looking for. If God doesn’t expect you to measure up to His love but walk in it; then it’s important to accept His love is all you need. Don’t look to the past to find validation in others, but walk in the self-confidence you were created to be loved. You are special just the way you are.
- Seek to develop a relationship of value: My mother used to always tell me before leaving the house as a teenager, “Tell me who you are hanging out with son, and I will tell you who you are.” At the time I just dismissed it as an old-school saying, however, I quickly understood the value of the message. The people you associate yourself with will determine the altitude of your breakthrough. In other words, eagles were meant to fly alone or cross the paths of other eagles. If you have a large following around, perhaps you are hanging around pigeons. It’s indeed lonely at the top but at least you can see the sun clearer and feel its warmth.
Quick Experiment: Imagine standing on a chair and clasping the hands of a friend who has half the weight as you at ground level. Next, try pulling him up to your level. Finally, have your friend tug and pull your hand towards him. What do you think will happen? Try it! The weight of gravity would pull you off the chair towards him. Our relationship works similarly to gravity, we extend our hands to help others but if we are not careful, without the proper support to pull them up, they will eventually pull us down.
Build relationships that increase your altitude and momentum. If you leave exhausted and overwhelmed, consider the worth and time invested. Here is a list of some breakthrough killers:
- Lying and being dishonest
- Being unreliable and not keeping promises
- Being negative and complaining constantly
- Being possessive and controlling
- Being judgmental and critical
- Being selfish and not considering the other person’s feelings
- Being too competitive and not being a good listener
- Being overly critical or demanding
- Being too passive or too aggressive
- Ignoring or avoiding communication and not addressing issues.
It’s important to note that everyone is different and what may be a deal-breaker for one person may not be for another. The key is to communicate openly and effectively with your friends to ensure that your actions and behaviors align with the relationship you both want to have.
Explain the importance of surrounding yourself with the right friends and associates. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Provide an example of a time you found yourself associating yourself with the wrong individuals and the outcome turned out negative. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Love must be free of hypocrisy. Detest what is evil; cling to what is good.
(Romans 12:9, NASB)
- Love without boundaries: True love has no boundaries, limits, or restrictions. Love is unconditional and reaches the depths of the soul. Love leaves a legacy to be remembered. Take a moment to list three individuals who impacted the world through their love. What was their contribution?
Individual | Legacy Impact |
Loving without boundaries can be understood through symbiotic relationships in nature. “Symbiotic relationships are the close associations formed between pairs of species. They come in a variety of forms, such as parasitism (where one species benefits and the other is harmed) and commensalism (where one species benefits and the other is neither harmed nor helped). Mutualism is a type of symbiotic relationship where all species involved benefit from their interactions. While mutualism is highly complex, it can be roughly broken down into two types of relationships. In some cases, the species are entirely dependent on each other (obligate mutualism) and in others, they derive benefits from their relationship but could survive without each other (facultative mutualism).”2
God can speak to us through symbiotic relationships. In John chapter 11, we find a relationship between Jesus and Lazarus that was mutualistic. Jesus developed a deep and intimate relationship with Lazarus and his sisters. It was Mary who anointed Jesus with her tears and wiped his feet with her hair. Mary affirmed who was the Lord in her life and it was the experience that permitted Jesus to be glorified to His friends and the people when he brought back Lazarus from the dead. It’s important to note mutualistic relations are not balanced. We cannot pretend to out-give God such as the relationship between Jesus and Lazarus. No amount of money could ever repay Jesus for the miracle that occurred. The takeaway is to understand in a healthy relationship both parties give back to each other. God gave us His son for salvation and we in turn surrender our lives and develop a relationship through prayer, meditation, and Bible reading.
“Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for the one who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the Law” (Romans 13:8, NASB).
The greatest transaction you can give is love. It pays all debt and frees all debtors. The opposite is true with regret and bitterness towards someone, it only keeps you in a box of darkness. Love allows you to lift the box and see the light. When you love someone the feelings of joy you receive could never be paid back. I love the way Paul puts it if you must owe someone owe them with love.
Satan the enemy of our souls operates through parasitism. His goal is to bring division, destruction, and death. His death is eternal damnation without eternal life. There are no benefits to living under his control or favor. Many think the pleasures of this world are worth it all, however, it’s only temporal. It’s similar to male spiders becoming intimate with a black widow as they fall into euphoria they eventually become paralyzed by the black widow’s venom which eventually leads to death. Satan operates the same way, he gives you what you believe you want and wants you to obtain, nevertheless, he paralyzes you and eventually destroys you.
All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
Contrast what Jesus wants to bring in comparison with Satan.
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