- Fear of Rejection: social media has coined “likes” and different emojis for acceptance. We tend to scroll back and forth to see how many commented on our posts. We live our lives for posts being “liked”, yet when rejection ensues it can feel like torture. The danger occurs when we bend and sway like a palm tree, just to feel accepted. Popular opinion matters more than what God says matter. No one looks forward to being criticized or ridiculed. A breakthrough will only result when you are willing to go against the grain of popularity and make the right decision, not the popular one.
Why do you believe acceptance from others is so important? __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Why is parental acceptance crucial in early development? __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
It’s important to note we always want what we have not received growing up. If you are not careful, you begin a life searching for others like a piece of a puzzle that makes you whole. The problem with that is it becomes a bottomless pit of a void that will never be filled. The only true fulfillment must come from God, the true maker who created you and knows you better than yourself.
Just as the Father has loved Me, I also have loved you; remain in My love. (John 15:9)
Why is it so important to remain in the love of God rather than to seek love and affirmation from others?
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Read the scenario: Growing up I sought affirmation from my father. Dad left home when I was at the tender age of three; so, my vivid memories are limited. My mother did the best she could to have us both connect and would take me to the nearest location which was the neighborhood corner bar. I looked forward to seeing him. I can recall spending time while shots of alcohol were being served as the ambiance of salsa music played in the background. I remember thinking to myself that this is what a real man does, downing the shots without even flinching.
My father and I had similar encounters sitting on Philadelphia’s city stoops discussing life, finishing school, and why he was sorry he couldn’t help more. He would often say, “I am proud of you son.” But the words fell like a leaf in the fall which lost its color and vibrance. Acceptance and affirmation were important, however, I quickly learned that holding on to those two words would be like holding on to water that quickly slips away.
My takeaway from the relationship is that he can only love me at the level he received. I realized I was living in a carousel of pain that my father received from his father and his father received from him. Hurt people tend to hurt people and you cannot provide something you don’t have or haven’t obtained yourself. This by no means is a cop-out for my father, however, it is more of a means that allows me to step outside the carousel and live life the way it was intended to be lived, and that is to the fullest.
What do you believe is meant by “People can only love others at the level they received?” __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
What carousel of the past have you been riding? __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. (John 15:12 NASB)
When we choose to love others, it becomes liberating. True love isn’t based on a transaction of how much individuals can love each other but on how much they are willing to love when it doesn’t return. God made his move of love toward us by sending his only son and die a cruel death so that we could escape the punishment that we deserve.
In this, the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins (1 John 4:9,10).